caught dead, laughing like smooth muscle 
as my memory clapped into the cobblestone
a blunderbuss of splintered moments of chaos 
to land in a mosaic at your feet.
From up here, so much more ordered than it had felt
now a lifetime away
framed in yellow tape
and quiet, pursed brows. 
i'll miss you 
;

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"i had a dream that there was a rifle too big for me "

it's important to ascribe meaning to things
there's a whole lot of "what now" in the human condition
I'm alive, what now?
My basic needs are met, what now
I have a fulfilling career and family and a home,
what now?
i hurt myself with heroin to see what it was like
i dropped acid and am now afraid of the color orange 
through DMT i m...

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